Teresa Giudice Is ‘Shocked’ That She Got Jail Time For Committing A Crime, Because Logic

Several days have passed since Joe and Teresa Giudice were convicted on several counts of fraud. Now, they’re breaking their silence on the whole situation on Andy Cohen‘s talk show, Watch What Happens Livebecause obviously Bravo needs to capitalize on everything that happens to their beloved Real Housewives of New Jersey resident criminals. And, in news that surprises no one, Teresa continues to live in a state of constant denial and says that she was “shocked” by her jail sentence. Um, I’m calling shenanigans on this one. Pardon my French, but what the actual fuck did she think was going to happen after she KNOWINGLY COMMITTED A CRIME?

Ever the investigator, Andy got the ball rolling in his exclusive interview by telling Teresa that there was a lot of speculation that she would get no jail time at all, seeing that she has four young daughters at home and whatnot. When he asked her how she felt when she heard the judge’s sentence, here’s what she said:

“I was so nervous yesterday that I was shaking. My nerves were pulling. At one point, I couldn’t move my fingers. They were stuck. I couldn’t open my hands. My nerves were shot. I’ve had sleepless nights. I, of course, I was shocked. It was very unexpected. I don’t even know what to say.”

I know what to say. How about what my parents always said to me when I got put in time out when I was a kid: You do the crime, you do the time. Simple as that. And the fact that Teresa is claiming to be surprised (whether or not she’s just pretending that she is for the cameras is unclear, though I suspect it’s not an act) just goes to show that she really did think she was invincible. But hey, I guess living your life on reality TV for six years will do that to you.

Honestly, I don’t feel bad that Teresa and Joe are being sent to prison. What they did was wrong and they need to face the appropriate consequences. However, I do feel extremely sorry for their kids, Gia (age 13), Gabriella (9), Milania (8), and Audriana (5). Teresa and Joe will be serving their sentences at separate times so as to have one parent at home while the other is away (Teresa will serve her 15-month sentence first, then Joe will serve his nearly-four year sentence when she has returned), but those girls are WAY too young to not have a competent parent at home. Teresa told Andy on the subject:

“My husband is a great father, a great husband, but I do everything with my daughters. I’m the one that’s hands-on. All I’ve said to my husband was ‘Please take care of our daughters, that’s all I ask. You’ve gotta do what I do.’”

I mean, okay, but, not to knock Joe’s skills as a father, I’ve watched RHONJ enough to know that he will not be sufficient on his own.

I guess only time will tell if this family ends up coming out the other side of this seriously crappy situation, but let’s just hope that Melissa and Joe Gorga come in and help out with the kids, because for all their crazy, I feel like they’re probably good parents. But maybe that’s just wishful thinking.

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