Jason Sudeikis Lost Weight By Having Sex With Olivia Wild

Jason Sudeikis continues on his tour of “yeah guys, I really am banging that hot girl” by reminding his Elle interviewer that he has sex with his fiance, Olivia Wilde. All the time. Whenever he wants. Probably right now. Probably during the very Elle interview that you’re reading. That’s what happens when you get engaged to someone. You can put that p in her v whenever it’s convenient for both of your schedules. And as Olivia’s told us before, their schedules often match up nicely. What’s that phrase she used? Ahh right, they have sex like “Kenyan marathon runners.”

ELLE: Speaking of which, you appear to have lost weight. Is that her influence?

JS: A lot of it comes from tiny things, like not eating barbecue sauce with my pizza at two in the morning. I think it’s all a manifestation of being happy and wanting to treat myself well. The truth is, I’m not getting up an hour earlier and walking on a treadmill. I have the greatest workout partner in the world. And you don’t need a gym membership for that kind of workout.

First of all, it’s rude to bring up someone’s weight unsolicited. She went from asking him, “do you have a masculine story you want to tell here?” to “Is it Yoplait? Is that how you lost so much weight? Tell me it’s Yoplait Jason!” Second of all, Jason totally breezed over her back-handed compliment and dove right into talking about his active sex life. Unless I’m reading too closely between the line and they’re doing some other kind of workout that doesn’t involve a gym membership — but does involve a partner. Synchronized swimming? Tennis? Dueling? Those are all rich people workouts that probably don’t involve them leaving their own grounds. So maybe that’s what he’s talking about here.

Then again we do know that he single-handedly brought Olivia’s vagina back to life. And that’s pretty hard to do that when you’re sword fighting on the dueling court. I know, I’ve tried. Before I become a blogger, I attempted to be a vagina whisperer.  (And before that I applied to be the woman in Yoplait commercials who gets to name all the desserts she’s eaten — knowing full well her friends don’t know she’s talking about yogurt.)

So congrats to J an O on a phenomenal sex life. May they always keep the weight off their bodies by keeping their bodies on top of each other.

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