Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson recently revealed that he’ll be returning to Wrestlemania in 2016, so obviously he wants to be in his most muscular shape. Not that his shape isn’t already muscular. I mean, he pulled a plane by a rope earlier this year. But I’m starting to think he could also crush that same plane to smithereens between his thighs, because holy mackerel those are huge.
Somehow I’d focused so much of my attention on his arms that I forgot he even had legs, much less that they look like they’ve been chiseled out of the side of a mountain. I may not be able to smell specifically what The Rock is cooking, but I know he’s cooking something, because he’s obviously carrying all of his groceries in those things, right? He should totally start a delivery service.
Yesterday on Instagram The Rock shared the above photo showing off his glorious gams after a workout. He captioned the photo, “Tonight we trained ‘the beefs’ aka legs. I passed out after we took this pic from holding my breath and trying to look cool.”
Whoa, take it down a notch there, buddy. If those beefs get any bigger they might not fit through doorways. The announcer will just say, “In this corner is one of The Rock’s thighs, and in this corner is his other thigh, and in this third corner is the rest of The Rock.” (Do they say that for wrestling? Whatevs.)
Looking at The Rock with his thighs exposed, I totally think that needs to be the go-to male superhero pose from now on. Hey, the lady heroes are expected to show off their thighs, so why shouldn’t the men? From now on I want to see Superman without the tights, just wearing those little undies with knee-high boots, quads out for all to see. The Rock already has that towel draped over his shoulder like a cape. He’s got the right idea.